Awake is the new sleep

First of all, who creates a pill besides cocaine or speed that makes you not go to sleep. How is that supposed to make anyone feel better? O well so you're not feeling well...here maybe if you don't sleep for a month you'll feel back to normal. Smart.
Now I have all of this extra time which I do not know what to do with. Should I join a secret fight club? And if I did wouldn't the first rule of fight club be not to talk about fight club?...I have all of this extra time that is now being devoted to online shopping, stumbling on Firefox, and listening to John Mayer. Real productive right?

Words to Myself Before I Turn 21

What I want to remember today is to take my own advice...so I decided to write down my hopes for the future and the things from my past that I would not like to repeat in my 20 years of living...It's not set in stone, but typed in the blog equivalent of writing it in blood.
The first thing I want to remember is not to take myself so seriously. TMI WARNING: I came out saying "not that way" and "I don't like that kind of milk" so why would I ever think my life was so stuffy and serious? There are times to be serious like at a funeral or picking out china but how often am I going to be doing that? In the ripe age of 21 I really want laughter to be my best medicine. This goes into my second hope for the future, I want to be healthy. I don't care about weight or looking like Nicole Richie pre-rehab, but I want to feel healthy for one time in my life. It seems that I am always sick. It leads me to take myself too seriously. I need to learn to stop and breathe. This last week, I have been to doctor to doctor and it made me realize that I run around until I drop. After my spinal tap I was restless because I am so used to running around that my body did not even know how to recover. I don't want that to be the case when I turn 21. I want to learn to manage my stress in a healthy way. I stress too much and it is catching up with me. What kind of life is it when you worry too much to even enjoy what is going on? I don't want to be so ruled by stress anymore. I'm 21 what is there to really be worrying about? except for college loans, knowing my skin is at its peak, grad school...no more. Well maybe this blog was selfishly written for me, but I feel a lot better. Because in the great words of the Weepies "the world spins madly on"...with or without me.
Bring it on 21.

Something's FISHy

What I don't want to forget is the pleasure taken by simple things. I've been having so medical problems lately that have been nothing less than just depressing. Being honest, getting out of bed has been quite a struggle, probably the equivalent to Oprah going on a hunger strike, nearly impossible. But today when I was driving home I decided to make a change and do something...that something, incidently, was going to Petco and buying a fish. Now, sophmore year I had a fish, Fendi (RIP God rest his little soul) who I may or may not have put in cold Brita water....ok ONE TIME. But this time it was going to be different, which I had to reassure my boyfriend on the phone while sorting through which one I wanted. Petco has some haggard fish, let me tell you I swear finding one with both eyes and a whole tail was difficult. Where did they fish come from, straight from the fish fight? And it wasn't like aww cute but sad, a kitty with one eye, I'll call him winky. No, this was like eww where you born next to a nuclear power plant? Ok back to the story, besides no one being there to help me, I picked out all of my fish products and rung this bad boy up, Fendi II was now mine. His pinky glow was hopefully going to change something in my life.
Being depressed, I want something to need me to take care of it. I wanted something that depends on me and only me. Something that forces me to keep going. If it takes a fish to get me out of bed, even just to feed it, it is well worth the $24.51. Hopefully, I have found a way to buy a little bit of happiness.
Well it is still the first day and Fendi II is all set up in his new palace. We'll see how this goes, but I definitely have a good feeling about this one.
So what I really want to remember is to take pleasure in the simple things like buying a fish. Even though I looked like a forth grader walking into Petco with my pink backpack on and walked into the fish section, it gave me a chance to laugh at myself, and remember what it felt like when I did this when I was younger. When buying a fish was like buying a new friend, I mean a friend that would probably die in a year and could easily be replaced, but still. The simple things in life are what keep up going and remind us what it feels like to be content.

Gloomy excuses.

What I don't want to forget come daylight is...gloomy days. There is something about them that excuse any physical appearance. Someone can have a Hello Kitty tattoo across their face, but it's completely ok because it's a gloomy day. This is the type of day where the hair goes up, unwashed and nasty, and the good old sweatpants come out. The best thing is to curl up in bed and read...pr watch Glee...with a cup of tea. But when we do decide to peal ourselves out of bed or off the couch there is ALWAYS that one person who woke up and decided to go all out. They dressed like they are outside of Le Deux ready to get in for a night of entertainment. After a thizz face and a small "bitch" whispered underneath our breath we usually walk past in our nastiest sweatpants that are only accepted in this gloomy season. This days are so precious and rare but for the sake of my social image I'm glad that they are few and far in between, because I feel I would take the role of the nastiest gloomy day wardrobe wearer...let's just say little kids would be scared. Let's all join in and take full advantage of these days...and not be that one girl, you know who I am talking about.

Bucket List

I know it has been a while but...What I don't wanna forget come daylight are the things that I want to do before..you know..I die. So by popular demand I formed my very own bucket list...Here it goes.

1. I want to go swimsuit shopping in a regular store and not have some lady custom fit chest by tarps of fabric.

2. I want to be mistaken for Marilyn Monroe...NOT Anna Nicole Smith, God rest her soul, TRIMSPA BABY!

3. Have extremely long hair where I can just ran around with my unmentionables covered.

4. Own a pair of Manolo Blahniks or an entire store..

5. Meet or be best friends with Lady Gaga and/or Britney Spears.

6. Go jogging painlessly and black eye free.

7. Dance like or better than Fergie and Beyonce put together.

8. Win a karokee contest with Katie Acheson singing the girl part to Teenage Dirtbag.

9. Pull off Heidi Montag's lips.

10. Own 10.000 MK Bucks and use them.

11. Have beautiful carmel babies.

12. Turn down a job at Hooters and least ten times.

13. Be asked to pose for playboy and laugh.

14. Dye my hair completely brown, not just get a reverse weave, freak out, and call it a day.

15. Get in a gasoline fight like in Zoolander.

16. Own a bedazzled pink Hookah.

17. Have a closet the size of the Taj Mahal.

18. Get bitten by Robert Pattinson.

19. Live in Greece for at least a month.

20. Get hair advice from Snooki.

21. Talk to Ke$ha about aliens.

22. Complete the 21 run in 2 hours... and live.

23. Write a best-selling novel about Vampires.

24. Learn how to make calorie free gelato.

...hopefully there will be a bucket list part two soon to come

GLEE CLUB.

"Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou"-Sue

For those of you who don't know the Glee season finale was tonight...BEST EPISODE EVER. I'm not gonna lie I was a late follower to this Glee trend, but now I AM IN LOVE. Not only was this the best episode yet...it was pretty amazing and very emotionally packed. If you did not shed at least one tear I would possibly think you don't have a soul or something. When I episode ended I had that "OK God you can take me now my life is complete" sort of feeling. Pathetic? Maybe, but I went there, built a house, and raised a family there. But now that the season has ended I feel alone and don't seem to know what I am going to do with my Tuesdays or life.




First off, how sexual is Finn? The answer...very sexual. That baby face has had me since "Don't Stop Believing" and don't worry I won't. I think that jean jackets have officially made their come back.
Secondly, the performance at regionals was spectacular. I still cannot get over how nasty and absolutely sick Jesse is though. Especially in a pink shirt...I just wanted to vomit. Every time I see him I just want to punch/kill/bite/claw something...it's weird.



Did anyone pick up on the "your dad was having an affair with a tattooed girl" line?
Remind you of anyone?




uh-oh we've got another Jesse James on the loose.



What I don't EVER wanna forget come daylight is the power of a show choir! Amen. I have a new motto blogsters and it doesn't have to do with the amazing website lesbians that look like Justin Beiber...O no...this is real life.

My Four Best Friends

To fully understand the power of the blog while reading I have generously provided two links to wonderful YouTube songs to set the mood. It's all about ambiance. Labels or love and the ever classic Empire State of Mind II (from the new soundtrack).

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

Ok, let's just start off my getting things straight right off the bat. Sex in the City is a HUGE deal. If you don't like it don't read my blog...ever. The whole phenomena of these four best friends started as an HBO series and ended up as a lifestyle choice. Who doesn't want to be one of the girls. Hell, I'd even be Miranda (and that's saying a lot). Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda teach women everywhere from twenty-somethings to women in their forties life lesson and tips. If you have not learned one life fact from the girls you might have to go get your brain checked immediately. In this blog I really want to acknowledge the power of Sex and the City.



Let's start off by everyone having their favorite girl. Mine is Carrie. Love the big hair, and the shoes of course. When my hair is a little frizzy I call if Carrie hair and get away with it. What other HBO character can give you a good hair day? Tony Soprano, I think not sweetie. Carrie finally has her Mr. Big and her spectacular shoes. She is the living version of every girl's fantasy. I might sometimes come off as more of a Samantha, but I am a true Carrie at heart.

HBO is genius about making women everywhere think that these women are actually their four best friends. Every episode and movie we go into their lives, troubles, and love lives over a few rounds of cosmos. Honestly they have been everywhere with me from girls night to break ups with pints of ice cream. Even though they don't know my life I feel like I'm way involved in theirs. I guess that is what makes good T.V. The best part of it is even though we have favorites, we all have a little mix of them because each girl is so different. I just don't want to forget what this one little T.V. show has done for women everywhere. Some people might make fun of it and call it "3 sluts and their grandma" but I'll watch those 3 sluts and that grandma parade around NYC any day of the week.

How Do You Like Your Bar?

"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." -Winston Churchill

Beautiful words from a beautiful man. The one thing that I do not want to forget come daylight is the pure power and bliss of open bars. Let's begin by getting a dictionary definition of both words in this lovely context. Open means accessible and without restrictions as to who may participate. Bar means a counter or place where beverages, esp. liquors, or light meals are served to customers. Two words that are pretty boring by themselves, right? But when you put these two together a sense of beauty, truth, and empowerment seems to occur. It's like finally putting the spices on Indian food or taking out all of the calories in ice cream. It is a whole new frontier that is "open" for pioneering.
Well, I do not want to sound like a complete alcoholic, because I am not aware that I am. I might drink but if I do I appreciate it. (Like the illusion there?) Story time...last Friday was my stepbrother's wedding and I had an amazing time with friends and family. It was so much fun. There was an open bar for an hour. It really made me see the power that it had. Really it is like a Harry Potter black magic kind of power. I swear it opened at 7pm and there was a line 5 minutes before. It really brought people together. I don't even know how but some people even got 5 drinks out of that hour. I have a theory that open bars could stop wars. How could you fight with a free drink in your hand. And isn't that the great thing about turning 21? Free drinks all night. I'm just saying that we owe appreciation where appreciation is due. Maybe that is to some men name Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo, but so be it then. We cannot deny that alcohol (in the right amounts) really brings people together. Someone can even "remind you of your ex-wife". My idea is when the slurring starts the loving comes along with it. My prescription would be shake it, stir it, pour it, or make it dirty but just don't forget to give a round of applause for the round with your friends. Since I mentioned Harry Potter and it relates, I thought that I would throw this picture in for your enjoyment.

Lazy Monday.

“You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't.” -Anonymous

I never want to forget the pure bliss of a one of a kind lazy day. Lazy as in the couch is going to have imprints from my butt when I get up for the following month. Lazy as in I don't even have energy to change the channel. Pure laziness in it's purest form. I remember sick days in high school. How amazing were those? Mine consisted of a constant 12 hours nap drifting in and out of Spongebob Squarepants. It doesn't get any better than that. The best lazy days and when it is dark and gloomy outside, like today was. Then it is justified that you would be frolicking in the sunshine if mother nature wasn't a witch and ruined your exercise. So therefore settling for the mistress love of the big lumpy enveloping couch. I'm melting even as I am writing this. And what accompanies a good lazy day you might ask....Well let me enlighten you a mix of a hint of TLC with MTV. Real life to the maximum. When your couch potato phase ends then you are enlightened and a better citizen of the world. My prescription is to have a lazy day every now and then. It does the body good.
Even Andy Sambery is in on the Lazy Sunday or any day phenomena. I advise you join the cause...all of the kids are doing it.

Oh My GaGa!

"And now, I'm just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time.
"— Lady Gaga


Lady GaGa,the Lady, GaGs, Hermie (we know it's possibly true), Holy Gaga!...all of these names describe one phenomena. LADY GAGA or as the name her mother gave her Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. For only being like 3 years older than me (March 28, 1986) the GaGs has so much live experience. Role model possibly? She knows how to work everyone. She is so unique and different but doesn't care...therefore, people like you and me are absolutely ADDICTED to she what she is going to do next. I am proud to be a puppet in the GaGa circus. Is that ok to say? A world without GaGa is a world I wouldn't want to live in. In my own perspective she is the love child of Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, and probably a line or two of cocaine. Always a good combination. She has reinvented the world of fashion and weirdness. AND I LOVE IT!



Just when we finally get a little over it,start to loose interest and begin to write her off as another pop star with no talent. She pulls this Paparazzi Live. O wait that IS what talent looks like.
So to sum it all up, Lady GaGa us amazing while we are all underneath her crazy stiletto boots. But I know I'm willing to accept it, and take my place in the Gucci chain of life. What I think we all should not forget come daylight is the power of GaGa. I know that I take my place in the Gucci chain of life.

A Little Spice in Your Life

In 1997, my childhood began, because in 1994 the Spice Girls were created in the image of angels. I was only 8 at this time but I did my best to buy huge platform shoes and tube tops which looking back probably was not the best idea since I might have been a little chunk. But back then I was amazing...I would even throw in the horrible bad British accent which I am still perfecting to this day. It's a life goal. These girls changed my life and need some sort of award. According to my wiki sources the demand for their first two albums was unprecedented, making them the most successful British band since the Beatles...THE BEATLES!

Why are you talking about the Spice Girls...didn't they all get pregnant or fat, you might be asking. My answer would be HULU. We all know that Hulu is a college kids road to actual civilization and utter sanity. This letter gem from heaven brought me a blast from the past in movie form. SPICE WORLD. That is definitely a world that I want to live in. We came across it last night on Hulu in a search for a movie to watch, and on the second page under most popular movies there it was in all of it's girl power glory. SPICE WORLD!

First of all I appreciated all of the little dirty comments that probably subconsiously soaked into my brain as a tween. Secondly, aliens? I definitely forgot about that part. But I'm not going to judge, in SPICE WORLD anything is possible. Third, Ginger Spice (my personal favorite) was kinda the slu of the group. This possibly might make sense now...But I never realized how much of a feminist she was. Constantly through the movie she said "Girl power...equality of the sexes". At a younger age I was like girl power yah! (but had no idea) But now I'm all about it. Thanks Geri for being such an inspiration.




That is pretty much a tank top and panties. I never realized what a scandal this was at a younger age. I just embraced, copied, and adored her fashion sense. PS. REALLY POSH?

What I NEVER want to forget is the power of GIRL POWER.
As Ginger so delicately puts it "Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!"

Fun in the Sun

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. ~Aaron Rose



What I don't want to forget come daylight is the power of that bright thing we're circling...how do you say?...the sun! Why do so many of us take this wonder for granted until summer time. I was so exhausted today and just feeling so lethargic but after sprawling out on a chair in the sun I feel amazing! And loaded up on some vitamin d! Who could ask for more. Ya, there's downsides to the sun like skin cancer or looking the Snookie, but there are upsides...you look good and your bones can take in their calcium. That's pure health to me. I know that too much sun can be bad (see photo above) and sometimes people turn unnatural colors, but maybe it is just their true aura showing and glowing into their souls, you judgmental people. What if Snooki is actually very spirtually aware and like the Gandhi of our generation? Wow. I could barely even type that...that was hard. I just think we, me included, should be a little less judmental unless you look like an oompa loompa who got in a fight with a penny and a electric plug..and guess who won. My prescription is sun it up, down, in, out, and all around.


Words to remember:
Sun is friend, not food.

Rest-less or More?

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do
and not doing it. - Mary Wilson Little


What I want to remember before daylight (...so clever, I know) is the importance of resting. Too often I definitely take the amazingness of resting for granted. I am not the typical "8 hour" person. I sleep in comas, because now I have classified anything over ten hours as a coma. It's medical..break out those med books. Lately though I have been neglecting myself, because of the satan of all terms summer school. Who invented school in the summer? The devil, yes that's who. My mind is thinking "it's summer,let's play" but my body is saying "stupid, get some sleep you woke up at 6:30 and guess what you have to do it again tomorrow". Obviously I listen to the first one and a tour de frazia, a juicebox of class, later I'm falling asleep in philosophy. Ashley wants to tour de frazia. Tour de frazia is fun. Therefore, Ashley wants to have fun.

Well...in conclusion I think we all need to just rest. It's a great thing. I'm not saying don't have fun. Please tour de frazia whenever possible with a good balance of r&r.



Learn from this innocent child

First and hopefully not the last.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings



I've really wanted to start doing this for a while. I wanted to really get into blogging when I began my adventures in San Francisco but that was short lived. Long nights and lots of words are not a good combo. Today I want to remember how laughing is a great joy. I watched SNL today and Betty White is actually ancient but she made me laugh, and most of all she knows how to laugh at herself. I think I forget to remember that most times all I need to do is laugh. Me and Ilian have this little thing were when we know we're in trouble we try so hard to make the other person laugh. Even if it temporarily works it gets you off the hook for a little bit. I'm not going to lie sometimes I just want to beat him but it's a chance he learned to take. I feel that like is part of what love really is..seeing your faults and laughing about them. We really can't take ourselves too seriously. The whole eat,laugh,love,live might sound a little cliche and like it belongs on a Facebook bumper sticker (I probably sent it around freshman year), but it is a good motto. When did we start being so ashamed of ourselves? The biggest invention of shame is Spanx. Girls, you know what I am talking about. I'm confess I own a pair. At first I thought they were a miracle from heaven, and now they are a curse from Satan himself. Who invented spandex that sucks in every part of your body. I tried to convince myself it was comfortable but really? "It makes you loose ten pounds instantly!"..so do liposuction and laxatives that's not too good of a route. I know for me I need to feel more comfortable in my own skin. The first step to that is not taking myself too seriously. Plus if I laugh enough I burn calories and don't even need the Spanx. WIN-WIN. Thing thing
I don't want to forget: Laugh constantly.